Capitalism: The Musical.

Living in Northeastern Ohio means that I live somewhat close a GM factory. This, of course, means that every day I’m bombarded with the news that GM is laying off tons of workers because they just don’t have the money to keep them going. And this, of course, is moderatly depressing. Thinking of all of those families who are now struggling to get by because the company that they used to work for needs to reduce their costs in order to keep profits up, an understandable point from their point of view, but there’s something even more depressing at the core of the problem.

American car companies like GM, Ford, and ect. are under a massive amount of pressure to change. Japanese car companies are steadily taking away profits and jobs from companies like GM, and change is the only way that GM can compete. And GM refuses to change. GM could increase profits easily: reduce the amount of SUV’s made each year, increase the number of fuel efficient cars, and stop resisting necessary change while hammering the “BUY AMERICAN!” slogans that haven’t been relevent in years.

“BUY AMERICAN” is a type of mindset that I don’t particularly understand. The whole slogan is based around this idea that, as an American, you should really have to buy only American products, despite your actual preferences or the quality of the product being made. Yet capitalism, a major part of Americana, is all about free choice. So why am I some kind of traitor for wanting to buy a car that gets better gas mileage, especially since it’s my right as an American consumer to make that choice?

Capitalism is a free market regulated by the choices of the consumer. It’s probably the most simple definition anyone can ask for, yet it seems that the American definition of capitalism is “free choice, as long as America is doing better than everyone else”. Which is not the definition at all, obviously. America is not above other countries, especially in a system so defined by consumer choice. If the consumer does not like what America is doing, then they have the right to go elsewhere for products.

This is when the debate over the falling profits of American car companies gets to be annoying. Folks who claim to be defenders of capitalism will contradict themselves and claim that there should be protection for domestic companies. This simply does not make sense, and it stands as being contrary to what capitalism is about.

Yes, it does suck when you hear the news that thousands of GM employees are going to have to struggle to find work, pay their bills, and feed their families. But giving domestic companies an unfair advantage just gives them an excuse to keep making sub-par products and then using the excuse of “well, people should be buying American, and the government isn’t helping us like they should be”. In turn, this means that Americans will keep paying more at the pump because we’d be forced into buying gas guzzlers.

It is also pretty amusing to see conservatives, who by definition are supposed to be opposed to the government getting involved in the private sector, clamering for more government regulations over businesses, when years before they would have been outraged by such a thought. Yes, time changes beliefs as the world changes, but selling out such a core belief just for the sake of hating anything foriegn is pretty pathetic.

However, I do admit that I believe that the government should have more of an ability to regulate business than they do. Not that they should offer protection for businesses just because they make a sub-par product, but because I do believe the government should be able to take down those businesses that make use of unfair, unethical, and just plain amoral business practices. And once again, the same group of folks who want protection against foreign companies are usually outraged at the idea of prosecuting CEO’s, because “that’s how business works,” even though they themselves want to change the way business works in favor of helping companies that resist change all for the sake of stubborness.

Now listening to: Destroyer- Streethawk: A Seduction.

Genre Wars…I Cannot Think of a Clever Title, So Fuck You.

As I often do, I spent some time this morning before work reading John Darnielle’s blog Last Plane to Jakarta, a blog about a little bit of everything. One of those everything’s that John likes to write about is music, and John is an unapologetic metal fan, which is odd considering the fact that John is a folk music icon, not metal.

I always feel out of place reading these because, frankly, I am not a metal fan at all. Call me dumb, but I just do not get it, despite trying my best to get into just about every form of metal created. Countless times, on a whim, I’ve downloaded entire Cannibal Corpse, Frostmoon, or Nile albums and found myself trying to force myself to listen and understand why so many people I know are obsessed with these bands, and every time I end up either confused, annoyed, or forced to listen to an Apples in Stereo album to clense my palate.

Honestly though, I do respect metal for the most part. While I dislike, I realize that most of the bands are technical talents, even if they all sound like emotionless robots to me. And I do happen to enjoy stoner metal, mainly based on my love of psychadelic rock and blues music.

And I do understand the purpose of metal: who doesn’t need some really pissed off, angry music every now and then? Or when you’re a teenager, music to piss off your parents. All of these are legit, despite what some critics say. And it’s why I listen to hardcore punk, at least the pissed off music part. Plus, as a fan of neofolk, I realize that most of those neofolk bands I like are incredibly influenced by metal, and some of them even influence folk metal bands.

What the whole point of this is, is to say that while it’s okay to dislike certain genres of music, I do think that you should at least be able to respect stuff that you don’t like. Metal isn’t my cup of tea, but I do give it credit for what it does right. It’s one of the things that sticks in my craw about being a fan of both “indie” music and “punk” music, that fans of both are snobbish assholes that won’t listen to anything that doesn’t give them enough street cred. Any time I express my love of a mainstream rock band like Zwan or Ben Folds, some smug asshole wearing clothes bought exclusively at thrift stores, and headphones that are 4 sizes too big, will feel the need to chime in about how anything that gets radio play inherently sucks.

It’s not just the indie world that does it, though. Most fans of rock music will scream bloody murder if someone tells them that rap really is a legitimate genre of music, and while I don’t listen to it, I agree that it is. I mean, you’ll never see me listening to a Tupac album, but I realize the brilliance of the man. And fans of mainstream pop music would never be caught dead listening to even a Ted Leo and the Pharmacists album, all because they’ve never used a Ted Leo song on Rob and Big.

However, there is one genre that I will flatout attack and refuse it’s worthiness as music, and that is modern mainstream country. Do not misunderstand what I am saying here, I have no qualms with country, and not just in the “well, I like Johnny Cash” way. There’s a lot of great country out there today, but not the garbage being played on the radio. I love Julie Holland, The Watson Twins, William Elliott Whitmore, and others. But modern mainstream country like Toby Keith, Kenny Chesny, and whatever else is just pure crap. And I say this because I work on a farm and am forced to listen to this shit all day.

It’s basically just mainstream pop music with banjos, and without the self-awareness of how unbelievably shitty it is. At least most mainstream pop acts realize how trite and dull their music is, and that it’s only being made for shitty parties and bar sluts. But mainstream country has a horrible sense of self-importance, and a fake sense of macho, which makes no sense given the fact that it may be the whiniest genre I’ve ever heard, and I listen to sadcore. To put it thusly, any music that sounds like it should be in a Ford commercial? Not worth your time.

Now listening to: The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath a Cloud- A Night in Fear

Jake At The Movies- Parody Movies.

It was announced earlier this summer that Hollywood would once again be granting mankind another piece of cinematic brilliance; a movie that will eventually lift humanity up into a new plane of existance and understanding, but giving us revolutionary insight into our own being. This movie, of course, is Disaster Movie.

Disaster Movie is the latest installment in a series of annual pop-culture montages that are effectivly cinematic versions of VH1’s Best Week Ever. Movies that forget pointless movie cliches like original plots, characters, or jokes that are actually funny. In a way, they’re the Melt-Banana of movies, only instead of breaking the established norms of a form of art for the purpose of creating a unique piece of creative art, it just doesn’t have a plot because the writers are lazy idiots.

I first saw the trailer for Disaster Movie in a thread on the website www.nohomers.net. In the trailer, I saw Iron Man have a plush cow fall on his head, Hannah Montana being killed by something, Hancock hitting his head on something, and Juno beating up a guy dressed up as Sarah Jessica Parker’s character from Sex In The City. This leads me to a few questions, the most important being the relevence of disaster movies here, because it appears that there wasn’t a single disaster movie reference in the whole trailer. But the other question, and the one I shall be discussing today, is why the fuck do people keep making these movies?

Now, I have to admit that I haven’t watched a parody movie all the way through since Scary Movie 3. I did watch about 20 minutes of Epic Movie in CinaMax a month or two ago, but stopped watching once I lost the will to live and had to be talked out of jumping off of a bridge by several police officers. But, from the clips I have seen, I can’t imagine why anyone over the age of 12 would want to see these movies, and why any parents would actually let their kids watch this crap.

These movies do amazing at the box office, but I’ve yet to meet a single person who thinks they’re actually funny. Which leads me to seriously wonder who’s going to see these movies. Could it be people going and not admitting to it? This is the only reasonable answer, as I wouldn’t want to admit to it either.

From what I’ve seen, the formula of these movies are pretty simple: taking one movie, then throwing in lame sex puns, random celebrity appearances, and then references to other movies, and throwing it all in a blender filled with bad actors, drinking it, pooping it out, and then packaging it with a not-so-clever title. And I think I could do that if I tried. In fact, I think the 12 year old kid I was puke then walk away at the mall a few days ago probably could write the same movie too.

Now listening to- The Tallest Man on Earth- Shallow Grave.